Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Conflict I Caused

I’ve been thinking through some ideas about ministry recently. They aren’t complete thoughts just me processing some transitions that I could (maybe) see working in the fall. Tonight, while sharing a fully prepared thought to a leadership team, I made a rabbit trail comment connected to the loose unfinished thoughts.

It was this statement that consumed the rest of the discussion. I attempted to explain and defend something I hadn’t totally defined to myself. I totally messed up in explaining myself. The words I choose where poor and did not communicate my heart or intentions or even why I thought these changes would be a benefit. Most got what I was trying to saying but not all. A dear friend heard something completely different from what I was trying to say. A heated discussion began that I wasn’t expecting because we were actually talking about two different things only I had not yet clued into the fact that there had been a misunderstanding (yet). When I caught that what I was trying to say had not been heard the way I intended it I tried to fix my mistake. The situation became a case of me digging myself into a deeper hole. Before I reached China, I was interrupted (an act of God maybe?) I had to get something out of my office for a friend, which was a good thing. I realized how emotional I was getting; I cried; the friend prayed; and I went in search of the other friend whom my words had hurt. I wanted to rectify the situation only the person had left because the meeting was over and they needed to be somewhere.

Life is complicated. I am in the wrong. I have hurt someone and must fix what I have broken. And that is my tale of my big mouth. I am still planning to post about time with family...should be soon before the trip becomes old news.


The AJ Thomas said...

Don't sweat it, this stuff happens. If it's a good team it will survive and come out stronger and if there are people who lack the commitment to community to forgive and move past it's better to find them now then later.

Elizabeth said...

Thanks AJ!

Dena said...

Yeah, ditto to AJ's encouragement. That stinks when stuff like that happens. I hate it, too. It happens to me, too. I'm sorry (the empathy kind, not the apology) this happened to you, and hope you can resolve it soon.