I’ve been thinking through some ideas about ministry recently. They aren’t complete thoughts just me processing some transitions that I could (maybe) see working in the fall. Tonight, while sharing a fully prepared thought to a leadership team, I made a rabbit trail comment connected to the loose unfinished thoughts.
It was this statement that consumed the rest of the discussion. I attempted to explain and defend something I hadn’t totally defined to myself. I totally messed up in explaining myself. The words I choose where poor and did not communicate my heart or intentions or even why I thought these changes would be a benefit. Most got what I was trying to saying but not all. A dear friend heard something completely different from what I was trying to say. A heated discussion began that I wasn’t expecting because we were actually talking about two different things only I had not yet clued into the fact that there had been a misunderstanding (yet). When I caught that what I was trying to say had not been heard the way I intended it I tried to fix my mistake. The situation became a case of me digging myself into a deeper hole. Before I reached China, I was interrupted (an act of God maybe?) I had to get something out of my office for a friend, which was a good thing. I realized how emotional I was getting; I cried; the friend prayed; and I went in search of the other friend whom my words had hurt. I wanted to rectify the situation only the person had left because the meeting was over and they needed to be somewhere.
Life is complicated. I am in the wrong. I have hurt someone and must fix what I have broken. And that is my tale of my big mouth. I am still planning to post about time with family...should be soon before the trip becomes old news.