The Story of Us Part 2: From Dates to I Love You

Today is the 10th luna-versary of our first date. With everyone social distancing, it seems like a perfect time for part two of The Story of Us. You can read part one of our story here and part three here.

Alex and I are both geeks. You probably already knew this, we did meet at comic con. Our first date was equally geeky. We attended a board game convention, played a game of D&D, and ended by watching Wonder Woman with Susi and Stuart. It was a perfect, 12 hour long, first date, well minus that I had to find parking downtown.

That was May 18th. The next few weeks and months I was trying to figure out if this relationship could work. We tried to get together once a week. Our third date he apologized for not bring me flowers and then said, "open the glove box". Instead of flowers there was a copy of the Aquaman movie, one of my favourite comic heroes. Alex got my geeky side but would he support my spiritual side? He was open to talking about faith and I could tell he was on a spiritual journey. What I didn't know was if he meant the same thing as I did when we said "Christian" and would he really be interested and able to handle dating a pastor. There was a lot of talking between us and a lot of praying on my part.

In Alex's favour was the fact he began attending my church almost immediately. In fact, his first visit I was away at a conference. He said, "you're preaching next Sunday and I want to be there but I also want to understand how your service goes. I've never attended a protestant service before and I don't want to embarrass you." Another mark in his favour: that next Sunday, the one I was preaching at, our PowerPoint person didn't show up. I put Alex to work. The third mark in his favour was WonderJam.

Once a year Canada's Wonderland has a "Christian Day" with special tickets that include park admission and access to a number of Christian concerts called WonderJam. The headliner was Skillet; I knew Alex liked them so I invited him. Then realized that we would be with the youth group and he would have to get a police check to follow our Child Protection Policy. He understood and got all the papers and references in faster than most ministry volunteers do.

WonderJam was a blast. Alex and I had a blast. He didn't mind hanging out with a group of young adults and didn't get grumpy when I rode with Sister instead of him. There was a lot of laughter and joy. In the middle of the trip there was a serious medical situation; Alex was both supportive and understanding when I need to be "Pastor Liz."

Even with all these positive qualities I was so unsure. I wouldn't even call Alex my boyfriend; my preferred title was "Almost Boyfriend." I know I was a bit ridiculous. I also wouldn't say I liked him. It was statements like "I enjoyed spending time with you," or "I appreciate you greatly," or even "you're fun." I was keeping myself guarded. It is easy to put your best foot forward at the beginning of a relationship when you are trying to impress the other person. I wasn't sure if Alex was the real deal (he is) and I was still concerned about the spiritual aspects. Very early days Alex had asked would I ever make him be baptized. The easy answer is no. No, I would never want someone to be baptized for me or to impress me. At the same time, being baptized is an important step of faith and would be necessary for me to have a future with someone. It has always been important for me to share my faith with the person I was going to marry. I made a decision sometime before WonderJam that I couldn't be the one have a serious faith conversation with Alex. There was too much of a conflict of interest.

Everything changed for me the last weekend of July. I was still so unsure about Alex; I was beginning to think that it would be better to end things now. That week I had listened to something on the radio about an art exhibit and really wanted to go the a gallery.  I decided one more date and we'll see how it goes. Alex liked the idea of seeing the National Art Gallery. It is my favourite outing with Alex. All the tension to impress and early dating awkwardness was gone. It was the first time we just talked, not about ourselves or our past, but about ideas. We liked so many of the same pieces and the ones we disagreed about lead to some great conversations. I knew he was someone I could talk about anything and share ideas and dreams. I realized I liked him. I really liked him, but what about faith?

The next day we had lunch with our Lead Pastor's family. Pastor Thomas and Alex began talking about faith, the Apostles' Creed, and baptism. Amy-Beth and I consciously stayed out of their conversation and chatted about this and that. Between what I caught during lunch and the bits we talked about after there was enough shared belief that it was the first time my doubts were lifted on the spiritual side. That next few nights we had some of the deepest conversations of my life, rivaling that of late night roommate chats in college. Wednesday, July 31, I called Best Friend (Steph), to give her my life update and gain her thoughts on the relationship. I told her everything I've just shared with you. She informed me that I was crazy and needed to drop the "almost." I  called Alex at work immediately after saying goodbye to Best Friend. The funny-sad thing was, I talked so fast and then hung up, at first Alex thought I had ended things. To add to his confusion, I went into a staff meeting that lasted over an hour and didn't see his messages or missed call till much later.

A week or so later, Alex was in Japan on a solo, once-in-a-lifetime, vacation. Thanks to modern technology and WiFi we video chatted everyday, sometimes for hours. While Alex was away, he suggested we pray together every night. And then a few days later we added a Bible study to our routine. One night I said, "I think I like you more than like" to which Alex responded, "I love you too" And I mildly freaked out declaring I hadn't said those words. I was starting to think that way but I was still cautious. This time the voice of reason was my dear friend Tanya Nace. She helped admit to myself that I did in fact love Alex and then plan how I would tell him.

I had agreed to pick Alex up from the airport. Before he had left we discussed that I would just stay in the text zone and then drive over to the entrance for a quick pick up. The new plan was that I would be at the gate, with a sign declaring my true feelings. It took my three nights and a number of sharpies to finish the sign. I told Alex to text me when his plane landed so that I could be ready nearby. He took that to mean I wasn't going to park and wait. I had already been in the airport 30 minutes before his fight landed. Susi had even helped me rig up my sign to hold my phone to video Alex's reaction. The hardest part was not saying "I love you" during the last week he was gone. I came close, saying, "I love...talking with you." "I love you...'re insight one this."

I was at the bottom of escalator waiting with my sign when Alex's flight was at the gate. I could see him in the crowd texting; not expecting me to be there he had no reason to be looking around. He didn't look up till someone else said, "Who's Alex? He's a lucky guy." Oh, the smile that broke out of his face when he saw my sign. It was a perfect reunion. A kind stranger offered to take a photo for us. Next time, (which maybe next week or maybe next month), will be Part Three: How He Asked.