Friday, November 16, 2012

Dark Day

Third week of November is never fun. Self doubt, insecurities, writer's block have all plagued me in past years.This morning, in the midst of a personal moment of despair about life and future my computer crashed and with it my novel. I was a wreck (still am) and cried and cried. Balling to my sweet mother earlier today I might have been quoted as saying,

"Everything in my life is wrong
and I am the common denominator.
I must be wrong"

Which, now I can realize was absolutely not true but in the moment it felt more true then anything else. Why is it so hard to remember the good and truth when things are falling apart? I'm not sure but I don't like how off it made me.

A good friend convinced me that since I had writen over 30k that I wasn't allowed to change my word count to my match my last back up which is something like 20k. The laptop is still non-responsive. I'm going to have to hand write the next 20,000 words unless things change. That scares me. I want to go back to bed and pretend this was all just a silly nightmare.

Novel Update: I want to cry
Word Count: not sure have to count what I wrote.

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